All the time I spent dreaming of leaving Toronto, I promised myself I would only take a lateral career step. I had visions of salaries and benefits, and I vowed I would never start to build a practice from scratch again. Having built a clinic from scratch in 2000, I knew that building a new practice is a long, hard, ruthless job paid by faith and hope - and a few other virtues - and not much else. Well, here I am, at an brand new beginning. (And although I do have a salary with benefits on the way, its not what I would call a lateral shift)
What I did not account for was the radical repositioning that literally starting again entails. Having wiped all of the previous equations from my slate, I retained the knowledge, but left behind all previous suppositions. And, I suspect this is part of the plan. Learning from past mistakes means that I have another chance here, to build the career I want. And, not from scratch, but with a new set of rules, fresh eyes, some experience, and a dash of wisdom.
I have plans. Dreams. Visions. Needs, even. Desires. Career dreams that couldn't not be met given my previous position. And, I am taking steps towards them. Upward career movement. Ladder climbing steps that, when taking one by one feel painful and small. In fact, I currently feel more like I have fallen down a shute rather than climbed any ladder. I have been sent back to GO - without $200. And yet: with an eye on the prize.... I know in my heart of hearts that I am getting somewhere even if I've looped around to something that feels like the beginning. The past can't be erased and my knowledge and experience is just that: A life lived, wisdom gained. And lessons learned.
